A Watermelon in January
I stand in my kitchen many times a day. Although I am not a person who likes to work in a kitchen, from time to time I find myself staying there. It is highly probable that when I am tired with writing, or when I try to remember something important, I walk around unconsciously here and there in my house, and at last step into the kitchen.
It seems to me that a kitchen is nature in a house. There we have fire and water. When I grab a vegetable or a fish, I feel a breath of the countryside or the seashore far away. When I feel free in my kitchen, something comes to my mind unexpectedly.
Recently, I had run out of coffee beans, so I tried to make a cup of green tea for myself. I boiled water, warmed a teapot and cup, then spooned up carefully apropriate amount of tea leaves. Then I don't know why I suddenly remembered my grandmother on my mother's side. Nevertheless we lived far from each other, I met her few times, and spent little time together.
I dare say it was during summer vacation when I was in third grade in primary school. I and my elder sister went to see my grandmother who lived in Kobe. I was shy and retired, besides I tended to get car sick. So honestly I was not happy about leaving home and traveling.
My sister went out with our cousins day by day to a town or to the sea. So in the afternoon, heat of the day, I usually stayed at home with my grandmother. In my heart I was scared of my grandmother.
Her house was burnt by air raid during the war, and besides her eldest son was killed in battle, never came back. So it was still just a quickly-built barrack. However the hedges and the trees which my grandfather cherished remained unburned, they said. Therefore my grandmother's house seemed to me a witch's hut in a deep forest.
Grandma went through the forest to the backyard, planted vegetables and kept a lot of hens. She appeared from the forest with a big basket full of white eggs. I peeped her from a slide door and thought she really looked like a witch. Her big straw hat and white hair fallen over her face roused my fear. I missed my parents very much.
Grandma perhaps felt sorry for my cowardness, let me go to neighborhood to deliver eggs, sometimes with eggplants or cucumbers or flowers from her garden together.
One day she took me to shop. At the corner of a shopping street, she stopped and gave me money. She said to me to buy a watermelon from a grocery. The shop was so crowded that I dared not enter, she pressed me under her parasol and said.
"When you were born, I went to you to help. After you came out safely, we ate a watermelon. It was such a delicious one!"
I don't remember if her words encouraged me to buy a watermelon or not. I just remember that her words made me very happy. At that time grandma rode in a ship, then in a train, came all the way to see me. In a room full of bright sunshine, she ate a watermelon hearing a cheerful baby's cry. Just by imagining it, I felt so pleased from the bottom of my heart.
On my way home in a train I talked to my sister about that. She made a rash judgement.
"That's when I was born. Grandma made a mistake."
I was too surprised to speak back. She continued.
"Because you were born in January. Even in Tainan there was no watermelon in January"
As I don't remember anything about my birthplace Tainan, I decided to shut my mouth. And at the same time I buried grandma's words in the deepest place in my heart, and covered them. I never talked this story even to my parents.
After that my grandmother lost her son's wife with whom she had helped each other. Grandma raised two grandchildren by herself. Whenever they recall grandma, they talk about her strictness.
Is it possible to eat a watermelon in January in Tainan? I haven't made sure yet. However the image of grandma eating a watermelon with a big smile still comes up in my mind.
正月的西瓜
每天總要進出廚房好幾次。雖然我不是愛呆在廚房的人,只是常常驚覺到花在廚房的時間還真不少。寫稿累了,或是想破頭的時候,不知不覺中總會在家裡來回踱步,然後一腳跨進廚房。
細想之下,廚房也可說是家中自然的場所。有水、有火。取出蔬菜或魚,彷彿可以聞到遠方鄉村和海邊的氣息。在廚房裡感到自在時,意想不到的事,竟油然而生。
最近咖啡沒了,只好沖一杯綠茶來喝。煮開水,燙茶壺和杯子,揣度要放多少茶葉的時候,突然想起外婆。因為彼此距離遙遠,見面的機會或相聚的時間並不多。
應該是國小三年級的暑假,我和姐姐到神戶的外婆家。我是那種很害羞又會暈車的人,因此,對我而言,離家遠行並不是一件快樂的事。
姐姐每天都和堂姐們上街或到海邊玩耍。大熱天下午,通常只有我和外婆在屋子裡,只是我心裡非常怕她。
戰爭時,外婆的家遭到空襲,燒毀殆盡。長男也戰死沙場,一去不回。因此,那間房子還是簡陋的工寮。雖然如此,外公最喜愛的花草樹木卻在戰火中倖存。所以,外婆的家在我眼中宛如森林深處的魔法小屋。
外婆穿越樹林走到後面的院子。她在那裡種一些蔬菜,養許多雞。我躲在拉門背後偷偷看她從樹蔭下出現,手裡提著裝滿白色雞蛋的籃子。她頭戴大草帽,滿頭白髮參差不齊,散落在臉上,像極了會施魔法的巫婆。我越看越怕,不禁想念起爸爸媽媽。
外婆大概認為我太懦弱吧!老是叫我拿雞蛋給附近的鄰居,有時也會放一些園裡種的茄子、小黃瓜,或是花草什麼的。
有一天,外婆帶我去買東西。走到商店街三角窗就停下腳步,拿錢給我,要我去蔬果店買西瓜。店裡人很多,我猶豫著不敢進去,外婆把我拉到她的陽傘下,對我說:
「你出生的時候,奶奶有去幫忙哦!你平安地生下來以後,我們吃的西瓜,好好吃哦!」
我不記得是否因為她的話讓我鼓起勇氣買到西瓜。但是外婆這些話確實讓我感到高興。因為當時的外婆要乘船、坐火車才能來看我。在充滿陽光的房間裡,一邊吃西瓜,一邊聽我大聲哭喊。一想到這樣的情景,渾身上下都覺得溫暖起來。
在回家的火車上,和姐姐說這件事時,姐姐毫不猶豫地告訴我:
「那是我出生時的事情,奶奶弄錯了!」
我聽了嚇一跳,當場說不出話來,姐姐接著說:
「何況你是一月份出生,就算在台南,也不會有西瓜呀!」
對於出生地台南故鄉的事,我一無所知,所以只能沉默以對。同時也把外婆說的話放在心裡最深處,埋藏起來。即使到後來,我對父母也隻字未提。
在那之後,因擔負家計的長媳先她而去,外婆只好獨自扶養兩個孫兒。堂姐們談到外婆時,總會提到外婆的嚴厲。
台南,一月份的時候,可以吃到西瓜嗎?直到現在,我也說不準。但是外婆面帶微笑,享用西瓜的畫面,在我內心依然清晰可見。